Lord Gord & The Posse: You Can’t Spell Funk Without Fun!

This Isn’t TV (Introduction Groove) (2:16)

Woooooooooo ooooooh! The time is now and this isn’t TV baby!
You see, this isn’t TV because
Unlike those lovers you see on soap operas and things of that nature
In life, it doesn’t really work out that way.
But really, it isn’t TV because the revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Coca-Cola.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Budweiser.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Beats Audio
And it sure in the hell won’t be brought to you by
Lil’ Hamburger and Young Sampler either, nope!
The revolution will be brought to you by the groove.

And who’s supplying the groove you might ask? Lord Gord baby! And The Posse.
So wherever you are just give the band a round of applause
because they sound so wonderful right now.
But band, hit me, nine times!

I hear a ticking somewhere off in the distance. What time is it?
It’s time for you button pushers to retire!
The days of Lil’ Hamburger and Young Sampler are gone.
The revolution is here and we’re groovier than an earthworm named James.
So I’m going to let the band keep playing and I’m going to get out of here.

Leave My Curl Alone (3:17)

One, two, three, four!
People will talk about you no matter what you do.
But when you’re cool from the inside out
Those are things you just don’t have to worry about.
I don’t really care what people say cause
I’m going to get me some women anyway, haha!

I’m fresh out the hair shop, my curl is tight.
Some brothers just tripping and ready to fight.
Because my hair is long, sometimes I use a comb.
To make my hair hit I throw some moisturizer on.
When I juice my curl, the grease might get on me.
I don’t like the hoochies and the Fendi girls don’t want me.
There’s a proven chance that if your top isn’t wack
A girl might tell me to step the hell back.
I went to a chick and asked could I be her man.
She looked me in the eyes and said “I got one”, damn.
Said “No bro” I’d rather stick to my hubby.
He’s texting me right now and he’s telling me he loves me.
Had to talk to her because the girl was looking lovely
But the chick tried to diss and said “Your hair just disgusts me!”

(Chorus)
So leave, leave, leave my curl alone.
You can cut your hair and do anything you choose but just
Leave, leave, leave my curl alone.
You can cut your hair and do anything you choose.

You little clowns can’t clown on my hair G.
Way back everybody had a good ol’ Jheri.
Using that World of Curl, most brothers’ hair was just longer than the girls.
And you know, that includes those that were cool, doing their thing in the old-school.
You know, Jimmy Jam to DJ Quik man, everything was legit.
Everything in my neighborhood used to be kickin’, even my mom’s chicken.
I used to cry when the folks cut my hair but that stopped
When I got took to the curl shop.
Girl don’t try to please me, because first you said it was greasy!

(Chorus)

Most brothers in the world just cut that curl.
I don’t why, they were cool with a gang of girls.
If a chick ever asked me to get it clipped
I’d look her dead between her eyes and say “You ain’t got no sense!”
I got grease on the door, bathroom floor, grease everywhere mom can’t take it anymore.
Every single night, before I go to bed, I watch cartoons and put a bag on my head.
If it comes off, the juice would get tossed, on my pillowcase and all on my face.
One day if you could see me rolling through the streets
You could see me looking cool never leaning on my seat.
Before I leave the house, you know I juice up.
If I lean back on my seats, I’d leave them juiced brother!

(Chorus)

So you already understand by now how damn groovy we get.
So I’m going to y’all how we do it, it goes one, two, three, ow!
One more time!

© BMG Rights Management.
Music by Gordon “Lord Gord” Tillett Jr. Lyrics by Crawford “Hi-C” Wilkerson
and Gordon “Lord Gord” Tillett Jr.
From the album This Isn’t TV.

Gonna Have A Baby! (3:18)

(Chorus)
I’m gonna have a baby, I’m gonna have a baby today!
I’m gonna have a baby, for goods we can’t pay!
I’m young as hell, don’t think very well, here’s what I have in store.
I’m gonna have a baby that I really just can’t afford.

When I seen my girl man, I really couldn’t resist.
Man you know we had to do the twist.
First we didn’t think about the possible repercussions.
Now my woman’s got a little something in the oven.
Man, oh man, now I’ve got to feed a baby.
I can’t even feed myself and my lady.
I’m a kid, she’s a kid, we’ve got one on the way man.

(Chorus)

Gather around people, I’ll tell you the truth.
We’re going to live under my parents’ roof.
Now my life’s not about me anymore.
Now I’m asking help from the Lordy Lord.
According to the statistics, my kid’s life isn’t going to be terrific.
They get more expensive over my time and my kid will probably end up in crime.

(Chorus)

Yo Ray, uh!

(Chorus)

La, la, la, la, laaaaaaaaaaa!

© 2016 Sir Gordon Patrick Music (ASCAP)
Written by Gordon “Lord Gord” Tillett Jr. Guitar solo composed by Raymond Hart.
From the album This Isn’t TV.

Update From A Young Player (6:42)

Wooooooo ooh! Yeah! I feel mighty fine this evening, and I look mighty fine too.
So I’m going to do, for you guys is, I’m going to testify for a little bit.
Let you know where I’m coming from, from a personal perspective.
Because I’m always observing so let me break it down to you, yeah.
A player like myself is one in a million.
You see brother, you thought you were cool in that 2016.
I pull up in my ’77, and it doesn’t fit five dimes brother.
It fits 5 11s and they all stand at about 5’11” man. He hey! Yeah!
Shoot, you know how I get down. I’m going to keep going with this.
You see, women come and go. And who am I to stop them?
They either don’t dig a player or I have to drop them.
It’s how life goes and she’ll find another.
He won’t be me but he may just very well be a sucker.

Because to compromise myself for her? I’m not the brother.
Rest in peace to my brother Prince
But I sure in the hell don’t want to be your lover, woman. Nope!
Because over the years, my game has gotten so much tougher.
The reason for that is I just got tired of dealing with the nonsense, you know?
Because I have to deal with things like young tenders my age.
Every time you hang with them they want to put cameras in your face
And tell people where you are and what you’re doing and such.
And if I fell out dead on the floor hanging with them, they wouldn’t even call 911 first.
They’d pull out their phones, video record me, put me on Snapchat
Share it with all their friends and then maybe, maybe, they’d call 911.
And a young player would probably be dead by then
So it wouldn’t even make a difference.
So when you don’t see me frolicking with some of these young tenders out here
Understand, that’s the reason why.

So living in South Central, City of the Angels, you know, I do a lot of activity there.
I see a lot and I hear a lot, you know. Some things I do like but most things I don’t.
And here’s one of them. And that is the ubiquitous presence of Little Hamburger.
Everywhere I go, everywhere I drive, I gotta hear that pssssstpspsppsst.
And I’m just like man, I don’t want to hear that garbage man.
Where’s the groove? Where’s the funk? You know?
Even if you go to the shoe store, you have to hear that man.
And I don’t really buy tennis shoes like that anymore
But when I have to go to the shoe store with somebody and that’s all you hear
I’m like “Damn it, man!” Like, I don’t want to be affiliated with these people
Like, I don’t want to be connected with that, I don’t want to hear that.
But I have to hear everywhere I go so that really makes me really upset.
And speaking on the whole tennis shoes thing man, just how Little Hamburger
And sneakers are so connected, a lot of brothers pay a lot of money for these
Overpriced tennis shoes man.
$300, $400, $500 . And it’s like man brother
You’re just giving Nike so much more of your money.
My brother actually had a pair of Kobe’s man, he paid about $200 for them.
He was able to sell them for $1,000 and I had to give him props
Cause that’s a nice little come up, you know?
But my whole thing is brothers just have to stop wasting their money
Because those shoes aren’t worth nothing, synthetic plastic shoes
And we’re manipulated, I know, to buy these shoes and
I used to buy them myself, you know?
Nikes and Air Jordans and such but I traded most of them in man
For nice suits and nice Christian Dior shoes and such.
And some of the shoes look awesome man, like I’ll give them that
But if they’re costing $5-$7 to make and we’re paying all that money for them
Something’s just not right here.

And my man Powerpuff asked me one day,
He said, “Since Nike owns Converse, what else do they own?”
I said brother, they own the hearts, minds, souls and wallets of young black men
All over the United States of America. Think about that!
Other things I see brothers spending a lot of money on, even little brothers
These little hoverboard things, cost about 3, 4, $500 man.
You can get a bike, a scooter, a skateboard.
Reliable form of transportation, great exercise.
What you gonna pay all that money for a contraption that goes about half a mile an hour?
Like come on, man. Just cause you see Little Hamburger with one
Doesn’t mean you should buy one too.
Matter fact, to be successful, why don’t you take everything that
Little Hamburger does and do the opposite?
Because there’s like an episode of Seinfeld where
George does the opposite of his instincts and he becomes very successful at what he does.
Maybe that’s what brothers in the neighborhood need to start doing.
Just everything you see Little Hamburger doing, everything you see him wearing
Everything you see him perpetuating, just do the opposite
And maybe you’ll be successful. Damn it, I think that’s the lesson of the day.
Anything Little Hamburger does, just do the opposite
Like getting funky with The Lord Gord. And I’m out of here man, he hey!

That Word (4:06)

Woooooooo oooooh!

When I’m in the hood, I hear it amongst my peeps.
When it hits my eardrums it makes a player screech.
It’s a word, so ugly and nasty.
For us to use it, it can’t be.

(Bridge)
I want to know when black folks started tripping.
Was it the era of the bell bottoms, New Edition?
Or was it from the racists from years before?
Oh well, shut up! Don’t want to hear it no more.
Come on man, stop saying

(Chorus)
That Word! (I hear it amongst each other.)
That Word! (When you talk to me uh, you better say “my brother”.)
That Word! (I even hear it amongst other colors.)
That Word! (Making black folks look like suckers.)

Never heard another people using so much slurs.
So carelessly, like saying his or her.
The older folks passed it on to the kids.
It’s some nonsense man, I’ve got to handle this.

(Bridge)

(Chorus)

Horns!

Bass!

Yeah. Alright, this is what we’re going to do right here.
We’re going to keep grooving everybody.
And then uh, y’all gonna start clapping and I’m going to sing this line.
And y’all need to copy what I’m singing so one the one
Everything cut out come on y’all, it goes

Hey boy, don’t call me that!
(Repeat until end)

Tender Lover Until I Die (2:53)

(Chorus)
Old friends sometime join the other side but
You know me, tender lover until I die.
And old friends sometime join the other side but
You know me, tender lover until I die.

In this thing called love, you play to survive.
I guess I’m like Garfield because I have nine lives.
When I see a young tender, I can’t refuse
Because I dealt with another that was oh so rude.
Give it to me, uh!

(Chorus)

I knew a woman, she was mighty fine.
It’s The Lord Gord baby so I had to make her mine.
I got to know her, she was so damn sexy.
But she wasn’t Rose Royce so uh, she didn’t want to get next to me. Uh!

(Chorus)

When it comes to finding young tenders I don’t need any help.
I don’t want nobody to go get them, I can go get them myself.
A lot of brothers these days, they’re going online but
These women be lying brother, I stay grassroots with mine. And!

(Chorus until fade)

Vexed (4:19)

It’s The Lord Gord with the funk on the set
About to kick something that makes them all vexed.
These women talking about how they want a real man
Look them up and down there’s nothing about them real man.
Hair extensions, photoshopped pictures, they wonder why their self-esteem isn’t bigger.
Nails fake, eye lashes too, talking about how they want a real dude.
Don’t even like yourself, expecting that from someone else.
Woo! You better get a grip, don’t look at me for no complements. Look out!

(Chorus)
He’s vexed, he’s vexed, he’s vexed. He’s vexed, he’s vexed, he’s vexed. (x4)

You text your girl, she doesn’t text back and then she asks, “Where you been at?” Huh?
I’ve been handling business, didn’t text back you didn’t seem to have interest.
Don’t flip the script or get political with me because you didn’t hit me on the digital.
But guess what? I’ve got something smooth for the funk, here it is.
Baby when I was with you, there was nothing I couldn’t do.
Then you left me like a lonely child.
You’re with another man running wild.
Does that sound like you brother? Sorry to say but you’re a sucker.
I used to let it ruin me, now I ask who is she?
I don’t even know that broad, now fellas sing the song. Come on!

(Chorus)

Now brothers, how y’all feeling? (Good!)
Brothers, how y’all feeling? (Good!)
Good. Hey drums, I’m going to have everybody else clear out
And you’re going to give us something.
On the one, right here!

Bass!

Yeah, we’re cooking up something good tonight.
Everybody’s going to want a taste of this gumbo, you know what I’m talking about?
Hey brothers, you’re going to sing the chorus on the one come in, right here.

He’s vexed, he’s vexed, he’s vexed. He’s vexed, he’s vexed, he’s vexed.
He’s vexed, he’s vexed, he’s vexed. He’s vexed, he’s vexed, he’s vexed.

Alright y’all quit that. I have something new for you.
It goes a little something like this. Here it is.
When it comes to giving freaks a chance, Lord Gordy Gord is not your man, sing it!

When it comes to giving freaks a chance, Lord Gordy Gord is not your man!

Alright you can quit. That sounds good. What we’re going to do, we’re going to go
To the verse part, horns going to play the organ part, y’all going to sing.
It’s going to come together real nice, you know what I’m talking about.
One the one, here it is!

When it comes to giving freaks a chance, Lord Gordy Gord is not your man! (x5)

Quit!

© 2016 Sir Gordon Patrick Music (ASCAP)
Written by Gordon “Lord Gord” Tillett Jr. Drum solo composed by Allan Ritter.
Organ solo composed by John Rosenberg.
From the album This Isn’t TV.

“This Isn’t TV” Album